Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize