Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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