Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
