His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
