Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
