she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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