I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
