so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
