How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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