my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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