I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize