I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
