theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Randomize
