I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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