so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
