Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
