bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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