he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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