At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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