why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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