there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
