Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
