How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
