fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
