matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
