i just google imaged poop.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
