Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she told me i tasted like america
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
