Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize