It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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