kristin has been a bad kristin
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
