can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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