I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
