Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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