I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
