Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We named our party play list daddy issues
my shit smells like andre
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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