Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
