We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
