can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
