Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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