idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently you make a good broom.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
