He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
