Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
