I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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