My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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