Having a random hookup so left but love u
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
