i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize