Got a toothbrush?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
