I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
