Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
