I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
im on a boat
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