I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
