Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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