Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
