Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
