More tranny stories later!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
