At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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