Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
