There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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