So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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