I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
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