Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
