That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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