There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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