He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
