I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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