Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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