can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
