yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
