the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
