She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
