I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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