Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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