I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
