Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize